The Deacon

When I was a young woman, my grandmother told me that although she was “old on the outside, she felt as young as she did when she was my age.” She was very active and lively — a 4-foot dynamo, really — until, almost, the day she died. Yet I really didn’t understand what she was saying.

Well, now I am the old woman who feels the same on the inside as that day with my grandmother. I get it now. Do I ever.

Too often we think of old age as a burden and something, perhaps, to be feared. Pope St. John Paul II had a different perspective. Writing in Christifideles Laici, he said, “Arriving at an older age is to be considered a privilege: not simply because not everyone has the good fortune to reach this stage in life, but also, and above all, because this period provides real possibilities for better evaluating the past, for knowing and living more deeply the Paschal Mystery, for becoming an example in the Church for the whole People of God” (No. 48).

Most permanent deacons and their wives, at least in the United States, are an aging demographic. St. John Paul II said that the old are called to live “more deeply the Paschal Mystery” so that we become examples to the whole body of Christ. The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has also weighed in, reminding the faithful in a pastoral message titled “Blessings of Age” that “older persons have a responsibility, commensurate with health, abilities and other obligations, to undertake some form of service to others.”

Despite the fact that there are not enough younger men discerning a diaconate vocation in the United States, there does not seem to be (in the U.S. Church at least) a conversation on what it means to be an older and/or a retired deacon.

My husband will have to submit a letter to our bishop on his birthday, either requesting retirement or asking to continue in active ministry. He intends to remain active with the bishop’s permission. But other deacons have chosen a different path.

Serving Amid Suffering

It is important for deacons and their wives to remember that it is impossible to retire from the Order of Deacons. Ordination imparts a permanent ontological change — an indelible mark. Age and health may limit or change their ministry, but the call to diakonia of word, liturgy and charity does not. The obligation to the morning and evening prayers of the Divine Office remains.

It is important to reflect, too, that for all Catholics the Eucharist is the source and summit of the Christian life. Deacons are privileged to serve at the altar; it is a privilege to proclaim the Gospel. It is a privilege because deacons are ordained to be servants of Christ and his people. Deacons are called to be icons of Christ the Servant. This is a lifelong calling.

All Christians are called to grow in holiness and wisdom. We are called to an intimate relationship with Jesus. Deacons are called to be unique witnesses to holiness. Old age often comes with diminished physical and/or cognitive functions. But deacons are still called to serve and witness in some way. Pope St. John Paul II suffered greatly in old age. Yet he was able to faithfully serve his people and his vocation.

Aging is a challenge to most people. It is often a humbling experience. Like my grandmother tried to tell me, our bodies don’t conform to the image we have of ourselves. But we are called to a life of discipleship. Old age is not a dispensation from discipleship.

At their ordination, deacons are ordained to diakonia. The Sacrament of Holy Orders gives them an abundance of grace to fulfill that vocation. How does the aging deacon remain faithful to his vows, and how does his wife help him discern, so that at the end of life, he will hear Jesus say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant” (Mt 25:21)?

SUSAN KEHOE is co-director of OCIA at Christ the King Parish in Des Moines, Iowa, along with her husband, Deacon Larry Kehoe. She writes at adeaconswife.com.