Celebrating Marriage and World Marriage Day
How parishes can help support strong marriages in light of what the Church teaches about the sacrament
Teresa Tomeo Comments Off on Celebrating Marriage and World Marriage Day
It was one of those moments, something out of an old TV commercial. “Wow! Where have we been?” we thought. “We could have had a V8.”
That pretty much summed up how my husband and I felt after experiencing the annual World Marriage Day dinner in our home archdiocese, the Archdiocese of Detroit.
To begin with, we had only been back in the Catholic Church for a few short years. Being a local media personality, word got around about the journey of faith my husband and I were experiencing, and we were asked to be the presenters. This was long before my husband, Dominick, even began his diaconate discernment. We were introduced to this fun and faith-filled event through new friends of ours, Fran and Rich Walden, who were and are still involved in the Marriage Encounter ministry.
Celebrating Marriage
Deacon Dominick and I are both cradle Catholics, and somewhere along the way we most likely heard about World Marriage Day, but the beauty of setting aside a day to celebrate this sacrament didn’t really hit home until we had the opportunity to speak at the annual dinner-dance and spend time with many other couples interested in upholding the sacredness of marriage, as well as helping those in struggling relationships.
In addition to hearing an address dedicated to strengthening marriage, now going on 25 years, couples also have had a great date-night opportunity, including an amazing meal and musical entertainment. The organizers somehow have managed to keep the ticket price extremely affordable. All these components make for an amazing gathering that has continued to grow in size to the point of bringing in anywhere from 600 to 700 people regularly.
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Additional Resources
The U.S. bishops’ Secretariat on Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth has additional resources for bishops, priests, deacons and married couples to celebrate the great gift of married life. The resources are available at the USCCB website, usccb.org; follow the links to National Marriage Week.
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We enjoyed the dinner-dance so much that we have emceed and helped promote the event practically every year since that first experience. It also prompted us getting more involved in marriage ministry, including conducting retreats and seminars for deacon couples, as well as couples going through diaconate formation, and even writing a book together focusing on applying the works of mercy to marriage (“Intimate Graces: How Practicing the Works of Mercy Brings Out the Best in Marriage,” Ave Maria Press, $13.95).
Of course, as with most other large celebrations in the Church, and practically everywhere else, sizable get-togethers are still rare or off limits completely due to the ongoing COVID-19 fallout. That doesn’t mean, however, that World Marriage Day cannot be a special event in our parishes. After all, for us, as mentioned previously, it wasn’t just the chance to be with other like-minded couples that made the celebration so attractive. It was gaining a deeper understanding of what our Catholic faith teaches about marriage, including how World Marriage Day began in the first place. Little did we know that back in 1993 then-pope, now St. John Paul II imparted his apostolic blessing on World Marriage Day, which is marked the second Sunday in February, and is often on or very near Valentine’s Day.
In the United States, the USCCB is also connected to National Marriage Week. The idea for World Marriage day began in New Orleans in the early 1980s when couples encouraged local leaders in the Church and government to celebrate marriage. Eventually, dozens of governors around the country joined in officially proclaiming a day dedicated to married couples. And the rest, as the old saying goes, is history.
Given how creative we have all become thanks to our unique circumstances, there are a few ways to encourage the faithful to embrace the beauty of Church teaching on marriage through World Marriage Day.
Be Countercultural and Emphasize World Marriage Day
Practically the day after Christmas, we begin noticing hearts and chocolates on the shelves. In the weeks and days leading up to Valentine’s Day, our parishes can begin a marriage-based discussion by promoting more than what the world is offering. While the flowers, candy and other expressions of affection are certainly welcomed, there is so much more to learn about what love and marriage mean through the eyes of God and the Catholic Church.
Encourage Date Nights for Married Couples
Even though, thanks to COVID-19, our World Marriage Day dinner-dance has been postponed, Fran and Rich, along with their World Marriage Day team, continue to remind couples of the importance of setting aside time for each other. Their website, www.worldmarriageday.org offers several date-night options. Whether it’s cooking up a special meal together, watching a romantic movie or reading together, the focus is on taking time to be alone and to celebrate their relationship.
Offer a Marriage Blessing on World Marriage Day
This is something we have also done routinely in our archdiocese at the end of Mass on World Marriage Day, and it’s extremely moving. Whether couples are in attendance or joining in Mass online, it is still something special to have couples be recognized for their commitment to each other.
Share Your Faith Journey as a Deacon Couple
Many people believe that those of us in ministry have it all together all the time. It is refreshing and reassuring to learn that we’re human too and have our ups and downs. What a shot in the arm it would be for couples in a parish to hear or read about the good times and the bad, and how we deal with the daily stresses of life. Maybe deacon couples could also record a talk online or share their story in a written testimony.
Encourage Marriage Retreats and Help for Troubled Marriages
Even before the stress brought on by the coronavirus, we knew that marriages in the Church and the world were struggling. But there is help available for hurting marriages as well as couples looking to strengthen their bond. Retrouvaille, www.helpourmarriage.org, and Marriage Encounter, www.wwme.org, are offering their very successful retreats in a variety of formats.
My husband and I attended a Marriage Encounter weekend in 1994, and almost 27 years later we are still seeing the benefits. We should not assume that, even though these wonderful ministries have been active for decades, that most couples are aware of them. These resources should be kept front and center on the parish website, as well as through other parish and diocesan communications and not only during the period leading up to World Marriage Day.
These are just a few of the efforts that my husband and I have seen successfully practiced in our parish and archdiocese. Even applying one or two of these suggestions can make a difference in celebrating a sacrament that is continually under attack in our busy and troubled world.
Deacon Dominick and I believe that the first World Marriage Day celebration was key in bringing us not only closer to each other but to Christ and his Church. We are happy to say, since then, we’ve had more Catholic “V8” moments than we can count.
TERESA TOMEO is the host of “Catholic Connection,” produced by Ave Maria Radio, and the author of “Beyond Sunday: Becoming a 24/7 Catholic” (OSV, $14.95). She is married to Deacon Dom Pastore, an ordained deacon in the Archdiocese of Detroit.
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Promoting Marriage during the Pandemic in our Parishes
Even though we are in a pandemic and facing restrictions, Teresa Tomeo offers some tips for parishes to promote marriage: “In our bulletins, announcements, as well as our online outlets, we can promote the many marriage resources available at the USSCB’s website, www.foryourmarriage.org. In addition to wonderful links to Church documents and writings on the Sacrament of Matrimony, the site is packed with powerful articles about strengthening marriage, couple prayer, daily marriage tips and much more. There is also plenty of information regarding the history of World Marriage Day itself, as well as many ideas to celebrate the annual National Marriage Week.
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